Category Archives: Thoughts

Finding Meaning

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V.J.’S WEEKLY CHALLENGE #31: DESTINATION

 

 

V.J. asked us to write on destination.  At the moment I don’t feel I am going anywhere or moving in any direction.  Living alone for the first time in my life, these past two years have been emotionally challenging. I question my reason for being here in this moment and the way life presents itself to me.

My solitude is a huge part of my life yet my mind is full of thoughts that wander. I set out to do something and end up doing something else. Then I remember what I had originally started out to do. (V.J. this is familiar)

My final destination is approaching, inescapable at my age. In the meantime I sense that I am at a standstill.  This to me feels like a good thing.  Yet I do have a little voice telling me I should do this or that, you know, be busy like everybody else.

The only thing is, I don’t want to be busy, I am happy being quiet and just being.  Sounds so simple doesn’t it?  Yet here I am, my own kind of destination until my destiny comes to get me to go somewhere else.

Haiku/Senryu

 

core destination

walking within my cloister

will I find meaning

 

©Hélène Vaillant

 

Back to Normal

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge #68

Reena asked us to write about: “Back to Normal”
I don’t know what my normal is or if I ever had one. My whole life has been a change from one week to the next. Nothing has been steady or the same. I’ve never been bored or lacked being of assistance to someone or in the process of healing my own wounds.
When busy times visit it is usually in abundance, and then it all suddenly stops. So was the whirlwind of Christmas and New Year’s.

back on the slow train
easing into a quiet space
regular heart beat

©Hélène Vaillant

Here Now

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V.J.’S WEEKLY CHALLENGE #25: UN-LIVED LIVES

Here Now

The second of five siblings, I was born in 1943 to a young couple in their early twenties. My parents were poor, my mother had very little education. I lived at home with them until I married in 1963. There is 16 years difference between myself and my youngest sister.

When I lived at home my clothes were, hand me downs, either from my mother’s friends daughters or mother’s own clothes that a seamstress would refashion for me.

When I left home to marry my father was working for the Government. Through advancement, he was transferred to England in a Diplomatic position. My sisters, 16 and 14 years my juniors were the recipient of a Nanny, skiing in the Alps, Cruise ship voyages and private schools. They all travelled through Europe for several years during my father’s Diplomat posting.

The contrast between the life I had with my parents and that of my younger sisters is striking.  My shoes had pieces of carboard inside them to fill the holes in the sole.

I had many wonderful trips and adventures with my own children and husband. Once my children left home, it all came to a stop. Due to cancer and then disability issues, I am unable to travel.

Unlived lives? Not quite!

When I look back I know that it was all perfect then just as it is today.
It made me appreciate all that I do have now. It has served me well.  Today I have all that I need.

Another chapter of my life is here now and that is for another story.

Remembrance (1)

This week I have the topic of Remembrance on the brain. – World War I (1914-1918) – I am choked up with emotion and heart-wrenching compassion for all Veterans. Every year, before November 11, I go on a pilgrimage. Googling on the Internet, reading veterans’ stories, watching videos, movies ( Passchendaele); visiting Memorials around the world, such as in Belgium, France, Uk, Australia, etc.  Below is one link you can click on to view some of these places.

Memorials/Cemeteries all dedicated to the World’s Fallen Heroes. The Fallen offered to serve their country and its peoples by sacrificing their own lives. It does make me feel so insignificant, comfy in the warmth of my home, surrounded with what I need for a pleasant day.

Written for:  What do you See? Nov/06/2018

Written for:  V.J.’S WEEKLY CHALLENGE #22: SACRIFICE

http://www.veterans.gc.ca/eng/remembrance/memorials/overseas/first-world-war

 

Mother’s #SoCS

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Written for:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Nov. 3/18

Linda Gill’s Prompt:

Your prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “point.” Open a book on your lap, close your eyes, and put your finger on the page. Whatever you land on, whether it be a word, a phrase, or a sentence, write about it. Enjoy!

I placed my index finger on the word “mother’s”   a book by “Judy Leigh”.  The title is “A Grand Old Time: (Life Begins at 75 mph).  Page 143, “he found his mother’s number and texted her”.  I am using the word “mother’s” for my prompt.

Here goes…The word mother brings back years of memories.  Coincidence that I landed on this word today as I do have a recent experience to relate.

This week I was shopping for a new body skin lotion.  The lotions I’ve used, even the organic natural ones all leave a residue on my skin that requires daily loofa scrubbing while in the shower.

Walking through the store, I ended up in the baby section.  Anything baby makes me smile bringing back fond memories of my children when they were babies. They are in their 50’s now but to me, they are my babies.  If you are a mother you know what I am saying.

Anyhoo, back to the lotion…I decided to buy a baby lotion.  If it’s good enough for a baby it should be ok for me. This one is all natural ingredients, light textured and unscented. Lo and behold, first time I used it it did not leave a residue.  Eureka!

I don’t remember if my mother used lotion on me when I was a baby, way too far for me to look back.  Right then I decided that was going to give myself the pleasure now.

After all, I am in my second childhood, my skin is delicate, almost translucent, in dire need of baby care.  I am somebody’s baby, have always been so.  Just like you, if you are born in this world you are somebody’s baby, right?  Say yes, agree.

Haiku

velvety caress
luxurious indulgence
mother’s graciousness

©Hélène Vaillant

I Can Fly

 

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A little bird stopped by my cage one day asking me why I never ventured outside.
I answered that it had never occurred to me that I could do so.
“Why was the door to my cage open all the time?” he asked
I had no idea why.
“Would I like to come out and fly?” he asked
I had no idea how to fly.
“Come on outside and I will show you,” he said.

My little feet sank into the white carpet, my wings flapped with excitement.
Then I felt scared being out in the open.
I retreated back in the cage.
The little bird’s patience ran out and off he went.
For several days I went a little further out and would come back in again.

One day I could not go back in, the door had closed while I was outside.
That was the day I saw the little bird again.
He taught me how to fly.

Hélène Vaillant©

Written for: What do you See?

Written for: Reena’s Exploration Challenge #Week 57

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