In choosing this photo for our week’s prompt I was sure it would prove to be a good subject of spiritual exploration for us all.
After looking at this photo all week, it opened a wound of dark fear and panic for me, this part of me brewing deep inside peering its ugly head every now and again. I can cleverly manage to push it back inside but it continues to live there and provokes me gleefully at each onset of yet another fearful attack.
Episodes of doom,
the fear of being forgotten,
no one will care,
no one will help,
I will get lost,
even God has abandoned me.
This is something I face over and over in my life,
it comes unannounced with panic.
From early childhood,
it keeps building momentum.
appearing at each life and death experience.
Today I see myself at the entrance of this maze,
with panic in the center of my belly,
looking around me, there is no one in sight.
Nobody will know I am there, forgotten, lost.
I know I must do this on my own,
all my life’s challenges cannot be taken care of by anyone else but me.
I need to get on and face it, try it out, embrace my fear,
trust that I can do it.
I keep tracing the maze
with my computer mouse pointer
to see if there really is a way out.