The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 17
What is one of the worst emotional storms you’ve
weathered in your life?
This challenge brings me down memory lane, all the damned weathered storms that got me kicking and screaming until I let go, accepted, worked with what is, coming out the other end, sometimes damaged but wiser for it.
Escaping death too many times has left me a bit fearful yet, as I count my blessings, I am still alive through it all, still here today, writing for this challenge. Hey, not bad even with the physical scars and emotional trauma left from those experiences.
It probably was worse than it would be today since I am an antique….75 years young right now. When life’s dire challenges came, it was basic care and so much ignorance.
Well, the car accident, my husband pulled me out just before the car blew up in flames. I was unconscious then so I had no fear at that moment. When I finally woke up in a hospital bed many days later, they had me strapped into a pulley for my neck, sandbags on each side. I could not move an inch for a whole (1 month) or else I might paralyze completely from the neck down, or just die, period. I did mention blessings at the beginning of this writing….after one month, my legs were like noddles and I learned how to walk again. Funny thing is I have never had neck pain since. My spine healed, baffled the doctors. I had nightmares for a long time after that but it finally passed. Fear of being in a passenger seat of a car exists, but I do it anyway. Sheesh, when I came out of the hospital we took a 200 miles bus ride back home…that left me in tears but we got home unscratched.
The other is finding out I had cancer when I had just gone to see a doctor about a new pain that was bothering me. Within a few days, after an ultrasound to investigate the pain, I was on the operating table going through major surgery for ovarian cancer. Totally lost, emotionally falling apart, I never guessed that an innocent pain felt just a few days before and, never felt previously, that this pain was a major aggressive cancer, with the prognosis of 1 month, maximum to 3 months to live. After one year of chemo, (doctors could not remove all the cancer with surgery) I was sick as a dog, depressed to the max. I told doctors to stop the chemo because I felt it was literally killing me. The chemo had already permanently damaged my heart and bowel. The doctors were furious with me saying I would be dead within a few months. I told them all to go to hell, no more chemo. So here I am 25 years later, heart still ticking, cancer free to this day as far as I know. Blessings….
I cared for my husband for many years, dementia, broken hip, this and that and finally had to let him go to a nursing home. Yes, this is like a death of a spouse, I grieve, though I visit him and we have great conversations, I am now living alone for this past 1 year. I love the freedom as I did not have the energy for the care giving he needed anymore Though I miss him dearly, this was a painful separation. Still difficult when I think too much, I cry, let it out, but it is as it is.
This is more than one emotional experience that the challenge asked for, oops, just a few of them in a nut shell. Miracles do happen.